Hi
Have you anytime said an ‘yes’ when you actually
wanted to say a no? It is easier to say an ‘yes’ than a no. But
saying yes when no is the right response might lead to unwanted troubles. It is
an art and a skill to say a no and deny a request but do it in such a way that
the person denied does not feel bad about it. Let us take a look at an episode
in the Ramayana that could give us an insight in this regard.
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With love, even a denial is welcome
To fulfill a promise of his father
Dasaradha, Rama agreed to leave the kingdom and live in the forest for the next
14 years. On his journey to the forest, he came across the river Sarayu, where
he sought the help of a boatman to take him to the other side of the river. The
boatman, who knew of the extraordinary qualities of Rama, wanted to take that
as an opportunity to touch his feet and get his blessings. But, he was not sure
whether Rama would allow him to touch his feet. So, he devised a plan to
achieve his goal.
He told Rama, “Good
sir, I have heard that by the touch of the dust of your feet, a stone turned
into a woman. I am worried if you step into my boat, what it would turn out to
be. I am a poor man and this boat is the only source of my livelihood. Hence, I
cannot allow you to enter my boat as such. However, if you permit me to wash
your feet and be sure that there is no dust on your feet, I shall allow you to
enter my boat and take you to the other side of the river.” Rama, who knew the
good intentions of the boatman, smilingly accepted the condition laid by him.
When Sita offered the boatman a
golden ring as a payment after crossing the river, he refused to accept it
saying that washing Rama’s feet was enough of a reward in
itself.
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The boatman said “no’ to Rama and even laid a
condition to be met to give him an ‘yes.’ But, who would not take such a ‘no’
that has a good intention in it? And, look at the way he put it. Often, it is
not WHAT is denied but HOW (the way) it is denied matters a lot. The choice of
words, the tone, and the intention with which the ‘NO’ is said make a lot of
difference.
Siva
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